If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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