I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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