help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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