They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
