I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Sober January is a disaster.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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