haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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