News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
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