they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
