Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
