You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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