im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
