The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
