thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
