talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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