great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
