remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
