Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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