i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
