Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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