Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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