He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
