Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
