white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
