Whatcha textin bout Willis?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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