Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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