were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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