I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
