I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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