White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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