Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
