is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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