I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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