it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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