was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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