He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
