...so i touched it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
