i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How does one acquire holy water?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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