so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
