remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
