bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
