The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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