I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
