I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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