Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
