I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
