So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
