jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My vagina just clenched in fear
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
