if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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