so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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