Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
