I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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