You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
