It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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